Meet Doula Darnicia, the birthworker behind Birth Theory.

How I went from organizing protests and fighting for social justice to shutting down systemic abuse, violence, and oppression in the perinatal care system as a reproductive justice advocate and full-spectrum doula.

First, I want you to know this is not a sad story. In fact, this journey has been one of the most fulfilling and enriching experiences of my life, and it all started during my pregnancy with my second little one.

Before my last pregnancy, if you had asked me about giving birth, I would have told you:

“I trust my doctors to only recommend what’s necessary,”… or

“My doctors totally know what they’re talking about. They’re experts”.

Sound familiar?… keep reading…

Want to skip my story and jump to how I can help you? Click here. Don’t worry. I won’t be offended. 😉

*Spoiler Alert*

My doctors were definitely not the “experts” on my body or my baby; I was.

And… 

Truthfully, they didn’t know what they were talking about — they were trying to fit me into a system that:

1) wasn’t designed for me and

2) didn’t match what I desired.

— I didn’t want to give my providers any reason to kill me or let me die. —

It all started early on in my pregnancy. My “care” team was hyper-focused on my weight, race, previous pregnancy, and trauma history. They labeled me “high-risk” at my very first appointment and began recommending what would soon become a laundry list of testing and recommendations. 

At first, I complied. I’m Black, queer, and neurodivergent so when it came to the perinatal mortality rate, the odds were stacked against me. I didn’t want to make too much noise or step on toes — I didn’t want to give my providers any reason to kill me or let me die. Even typing that last sentence out makes me nauseous because that mindset is so against my nature. I am the Social Justice Activist who organized protests and shut down streets in the summer of 2020 and fought for inclusive spaces and policies years before. 

So what was going on? Unfortunately, like so many pregnant people — I bought into the fear that my doctors were selling to my partner and me at every appointment. They used the high-risk label as a pigeonhole for me to adhere to every intervention and recommendation. There were early glucose tests, 24-hour urine, multiple ultrasounds with Maternal-Fetal Medicine (MFM), and more. I agreed to all these things, and even after every result came back normal, my doctors continued to harass me.

— Enough was enough. —

It came to a point when the recommendations became arduous, and some were even disrespectful. I drew a line in the sand when my doctors gave me an ultimatum going into my third trimester. Because of my complex trauma history, I could: 

a) stop seeing my current therapist and start seeing a therapist and psychiatrist in their network so they’d have access to my session notes, or 

b) I could sign a power of attorney over to my partner so he could make all the decisions at my birth.

Neither my partner nor I were comfortable with this arrangement. Enough was enough. This eye-opening moment changed everything for me. I realized that everything they had been saying up to this point wasn’t for my baby’s or my health. It was all about liability and protecting their interests.

— I would have to wake up and change my mindset —

I was committed to doing something different and knew I would have to wake up and change my mindset if I was going to have the no-regrets birth I deserved and desired. I went into a period of deep study. I spent every moment I could spare educating myself. I researched the recommendations my doctors gave me. I learned about evidence-based care and my legal rights. I started following birth and pregnancy Instagram accounts that urged mindfulness and trusting your intuition instead of complacency and fear.

Gone were my days of blindly following. I started questioning EVERYTHING my doctors said and relied on my own research. I began refusing the tests and interventions that didn’t align with my gut feeling. I leaned into my inner knowing and started exercising my autonomy.

Once I figured out that my doctors’ recommendations were more about them than they were about my baby and me, my go-to statements became:

“Nah, I’m all set.”

“I’m not going to do that.”

“You won’t be doing that to me.”

and my personal favorite, flat-out “NO.”

I decided to become the primary decision maker for MY pregnancy and birth — not my doctor, my partner, my family, or my best friend — me. 

 — So, what was the catalyst that triggered my transformation into a birth advocate and doula??? — 

In short, the day my little one was born.

There I was — in the middle of giving birth — 

and instead of having the stress-free, distraction-free experience I knew I wanted and told my “care” team I wanted in my birth plan, I was fighting not to be touched or “checked” by my doctor, who would not stop. 

Sounds frustrating, right? 

It was — but there’s much more to it — at that moment, I fully realized that practicing bodily autonomy while being pregnant and giving birth in the medicalized prenatal care system was designed to be difficult. But I also decided that my perfect birth was worth the fight.

 — My mind, body, and baby became aligned in unison — 

On my hands and knees, I looked over my shoulder and yelled, “I told you, DO NOT TOUCH ME.” At that moment, my mind, body, and baby became aligned in unison, and with a final surge, I mooed, and my baby — my perfect little manifestation — ejected herself from my body in less than a minute, all 8lbs and 15oz. I was at PEACE knowing that I orchestrated my birth, trusted my intuition, stood my ground, only said yes when it felt right, and did exactly what I knew was best for my baby…

My fight in the hospital to be the authority of my birth felt similar to my fight as a Social Justice Activist when protesting. I thought about all the other birthing people — like you — who could face similar issues as me during pregnancy and birth. I wanted to shut down streets for us. For too long in my pregnancy, I was motivated by fear. It seized my ability to connect with my heart, passion, and intentions. I slept on the power of my intuition and made choices that didn’t reflect my core beliefs. 

You are reading this right now because you are determined to be the authority of your birth despite the challenges you may face. I decided to reclaim my autonomy in my pregnancy and birth, and I am here to pass on that radical change to you.

So, how will we trade fear, complacency, and self-doubt for confidence, connectedness, and trust in ourselves?

With knowledge. With support. With practice. With community.

This radical change isn’t overnight — It’s a shift that takes place over time, and when you arrive, the investment will have been so worth it. 

You can start your transformation today by downloading my FREE resource to help you navigate decisions during your pregnancy and birth.